Not a sport

So I’m starting a new category/thread/tag — whatever you want to call it — here on WCBias. And, unless you’re a complete moron, you’ve figured it out by now: Things In Sports That Annoy Me.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m a big sports fan. I watch them, I enjoy them, and — unlike most sports writers — I actually play them.  But, man — sports can annoy the crap out of me. So from now on, I’m going to use you, the occasional reader, to sound off my complaints. So we’ll start with:

NASCAR Highlights on EPSN

First of all, car racing is not a sport. In fact, any event in which a fat, 50-year-old man can compete and win against non-fat, non-50-year-old-men is not a sport. So there’s that. Secondly, I’ll venture to guess that most NASCAR guys NEVER played any other sports growing up. Because rednecks hate sports. (And, no, shooting birds with a BB gun is not a sport.)

But what really annoys me is when I’m watching Sports Center, waiting for my team’s highlights, and they interrupt the string of baseball highlights to show friggin CAR RACING!

Ugh. Can’t we just keep all NASCAR highlights on TNN, where they belong? Seriously, if it weren’t for Danica Patrick, there’d be absolutely no reason to watch car racing. In fact, most guys would prefer to see Danica Patrick outside a race car. 

Not in race car gear.

Now, I will allow for one exception: If there’s a particularly gnarly wipeout, sure — show it to me. But there has to be either four or more cars involved or one car that flips at least three times. Otherwise, please — stick to actual sports, Sports Network.