Manny Ramirez is scheduled to be in the starting lineup tonight for your Chicago White Sox (but for whatever reason wasn’t).  When it was announced he was leaving Sunday evening (or as they call that in internet time “one billion years ago”) I’m sure you went through your own personal range of emotions—I know I did.  They went like this: Acknowledgment.  Indifference.  Resignation.  The surprise factor was clearly lacking as this was a scenario reported on by various media outlets for the better part of two weeks and moving an aging, former superstar through the waiver process when you’re miles out of contention in exchange for a few prospects isn’t exactly a novel idea.  Oh, what?  They DIDN’T get any prospects?  A straight salary dump?  Wow, what a surprise.  At least we have a deep pipeline of prospects waiting in the wings.  Oh, right.  We don’t.  Sigh.

You know what though, I didn’t intend for this to be a post ripping the Dodgers organizational management, it was just supposed to be Manny focused and I’m going to try to bring this thing back to his time with the club.  One of my favorite songs is “Statler 2000” by Armchair Martian (and covered by Bad Astronaut…or maybe the other way around, who can even keep them straight) with the seemingly prophetic lyrics: “All I know is you came too quickly/ And left the same” which basically sums up my thoughts completely—he came in out of nowhere, achieved instant rockstar status and made every Dodger game a must-see event…you know, pretty much exactly like he did with Boston.  For a solid year we got to see one of the best hitters mash NL pitching and mask an infield full of deficiencies.  And then the Homer Bailey fastball off the wrist (or was it Bronson Arroyo?  Who can even remember).  And then something called hCG?  And then the suspension.  And then the Disabled List.  And then the DL again.  And again.  And now he’s gone, replaced by Scott Podsednik who is basically the anti-Manny at the plate.

Was it fun having him in town?  Absolutely.  Will we miss him now that he’s gone?  Probably not.  The team isn’t going anywhere with him and while it would have been awesome to flip him for something/anything of value we got the full Manny experience and we were better off for it in the end.  Oh, and in case you think having Manny on another club means the Dodgers are off the hook for the remainder of his payroll…yeah, sorry—we’re paying that bill for the next few years (hello Andruw Jones!) thanks to the McCourt-Colletti-Enron bookkeeping process. Can we get a new owner now, please?

Manny Ramirez’s final AB in a Dodger uniform being a gem of a rejection, ejected after just one pitch (here’s the VIDEO proof). One pitch! That pretty much sums up his tenure with the Blue Crew.

That sound you hear? That’s just the door hitting Manny in the Fanny. Here’s to keeping Vinny, hopefully Joe Torre, and getting rid of 99 this weekend. The circus has officially left town people.

And they said I was an idiot for calling Manny a clown when he first came to L.A.

You’re right. Manny wasn’t a clown. He was a freaking joke-errrrr.

Guarantee Joe T stays another year now that ManRam got ran. Why do you think he said he’d announced his future plans by next week? Just waiting for the circus to travel to Chicago. Good luck with that one Ozzie (more on Guillen below).

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Speaking of psychos, how about the minor league meltdown and ejection of Gary Robinson (VIDEO) of the State College Spikes on Friday night? Pretty classic. Almost as good as Phil Wellman’s from a few years back.

Dude ripped out first base, autographed it, and gave it to a fan. Now that’s fan appreciation.

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Then there was Ozzie Guillen’s ejection Sunday, for doing … well, nothing. Watch the video exclusively below on WCBias.com, or download it here (it’s big, so right click it and save it to your desktop).

As you’ll see, Guillen gets ejected despite not even making it halfway out to argue a double play call late in Sunday’s game against the New York Yankees.

Guillen said the heck with it, turning around before reaching the middle of the diamond, but was still run by the first base umpire.

Wow.

Reminds me of the time my Spanish teacher threw me out the moment I walked through her door on the first day of school because of my previous history of being a class clown (takes one to know one, Manny) during her courses. Ask Ryantific, he was there that day.

Well, good to see I’m not alone on the clown front. Here’s to Ozzie, Manny, and Gary, the only ones who get me.

Coming Soon to a Stadium Near You

It’s July 16rd, 2009.  You’re sitting in the Lower Reserve at Chavez Ravine on a warm Los Angeles summer’s night; bottom of the first inning-Furcal has reached on a drag bunt to the left of the pitcher, followed by the O-Dog ripping a hit-and-run single into right center (Furcal advancing to third).  There’s a buzz through the stadium, all the heads turn towards the on-deck circle and the voice over the PA drones, “Batting third, left-fielder…Manny Ramirez.”

And the crowd goes…what?  Wild?  Silent?  Boos?  Cheers?  As a Dodger fan I will be off my nut happy to get his bat back in the lineup.  The team has been good/great without him but there is a GAPING HOLE in the middle of the order…the 5th spot in the Dodger lineup is batting something like .255 on the season with ZERO homeruns.  As a baseball fan how are we supposed to react though?  Bonds got booed everywhere he went outside of San Francisco.  Palmiero is a pariah, Sosa is a joke and A-Rod can’t get out of the way of himself-so what happens to Manny?  I’d expect most of Dodgertown will be onboard and Manny will be welcomed back with open arms…the lesson being as long as your players cheat for your team it’s not a problem.

On the road’s another story.  Who knows what Manny did but if you’re the Cubs and he almost single-handedly knocked you out of the postseason last year (even though that team played with 0 energy and deserved to lose), you’re pissed.  If you’re the 2007 Rockies and got steamrolled by the Red Sox in the World Series you’re pissed.  Essentially everybody is pissed, except me and I’m guessing you, if you’re still reading this.  And if you’re reading this you are probably aware that Manny’s tune-up beings now.

Lastly, as of this moment, it looks like we’ll have a winner-take-all Game 3 in Omaha tomorrow night (again, if Texas holds on here).  These games have been amazing and having been to The Big O twice while the CWS was in town I can’t recommend it highly enough.  Dating girls from Nebraska is not recommended, however.

Let’s see, there’s Free James Brown, Free Mike Tyson and, ah — what’s that other one?

Oh yeah — Free Nelson Mandela. I think he played for the Raiders back in the Madden years.

Anyhoo, the thing about this Manny Ramirez deal is that so far, the Dodgers don’t seem to be doing that badly without him. In fact, as I write this, they’re 6.5 games up. And I’m all like: How’s that possible?

Now, granted, they’re in a sucky division that’ll be lucky to wind up with two teams over .500. Still. The Dodgers so far have the best record in baseball — and they’re not that good. I mean, look at their roster, man. Have you seen the names? Kemp. Loney. Eithier. They’re okay, but not exactly A-listers. And somehow Juan Pierre is playing like he’s Ty Cobb.

A .403 battging average? Please.

Heck, maybe I was wrong about Torre being overrated. In fact, what the hell do I know? I also suggested that the Blue Jays weren’t going to be on top for long — and they’re the second best team in baseball. And I said David Ortiz was one of the most dangerous hitters in baseball. And so far this animal at the plate is batting .208 with ZERO homeruns.

Nice pick, Pembertonian. Almost as good as Jimmy the Greek.

Heck, maybe I was wrong about soccer as well. Maybe soccer doesn’t suck.

Okay, yeah. Soccer does suck. I mean, it really REALLY sucks.

But my point in all this is that the Dodgers shouldn’t be where they are — even with Manny. Yet, if they can be not terrible long enough for Manny to come back, then, well, maybe they can do some things. Sometimes it’s not about players who put up numbers, but rather, that thing called chemistry. So we’ll just see what happens as the season unfolds.

Until then — Free Henry Lee Summer!

Manny Who?

I guess it was just a matter of time.  While I wait for my FREE MANNY shirt to arrive (sadly they don’t have XS so I can show off my guns) I stumbled upon (ok fine, I followed a link on Alyssa Milano’s Twitter page) this site and apparently we are NOT alone in the t-shirt business.  And how good is JuanPierreWOOD?  That is flat out amazing.  Bravo, the internet.  Bravo.

In other news, my fantasy team is not doing so hot, how about you?  I’d like to blame luck for giving me the last pick, I’d like to blame Chien-Ming Wang and his ERA of 900, and I’d also like to blame Chris Davis and his contact rate of 2%.  You know who I can NOT blame though?  The good folks over at Ziguana.  If you play in a Yahoo! league and you’ve never been to their site, go on ahead and take a quick click over there.  Go ahead, we’ll wait for you…ok, now that you’ve had a look, how nice are custom stats?  The whole Y! rank has been the source of derision and scorn for years but neither me nor any of my friends were smart enough to do anything about it (well, Greenie might be able to but motivation also plays a roll) and now we don’t have to.  Hopefully we’ve all evolved to the point where we’re not just playing in a boring ol’ 5×5 league and we’re working in some Saber-goodness into our fantasy diets and now with Ziguana’s amazing ranking algorithm we’ve got a lovely way to compare players no matter how exotic the stats.  And yes, you can upload your league, it will analyze your performance and even suggest free-agent pickups and trades too.  Don’t worry, it’s not like SkyNet or anything but it will help you find a bargain when you need one.  If only it could make Chris Davis lay off the high fastball.  Good god, Chris Davis!  You know that pitch is coming, just DON’T SWING.  It’s not that hard to not swing, you know.

50 Days and Counting

What are we supposed to do about this?  This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go down.  Of course nobody ever admits to using a steroid (and if you’re Alex Rodriguez you don’t even know how to pronounce them) but geez, come on guys.  I don’t even know what more to write.  I appreciate Manny’s comments about all the other tests he’s passed and how he’s taking responsibility for the hot test I guess.  I don’t know.  I don’t even know what to say.