ESPN just made us hate LeBron James even more.

Meet the Salary Crunch, an EastSidePN.com feature that “breaks down statistics from his 2009-10 season and the playoffs to help translate his full salary” and pisses off all us poor fans who can’t even afford to attend an NBA preseason game.

The app allows you to enter your sorry wages and see just how long it takes King James to reach that figure, in terms of stats like games played (although games plural won’t come into play here as you’ll see by my entry), points, rebounds and assists.

Then it goes on to kick your dog, letting you know how long it would take YOU to make LeBron’s annual salary – which is reported to be $110.1 million over six years with the Miami Heat. Yeah, I feel real sorry for LeBron and that paycut he took to play in Florida, where there’s no state income tax by the way.

Well, us here in Cali have state income tax, and I won’t be making $80,000 this year. But that’s what I entered into the Salary Crunch for shame and giggles.

Here’s what it returned:

LeBron James makes $80,000 after the following…

.38 games
11.24 points
2.86 rebounds
3.2 assists

You will need to work 229.38 years in order to make LeBron James’ annual salary!

Thanks ESPN! And thank you LeBron for making us dislike you even more.

Good to know he’ll make what I’d dream of making in a year in less than a half of basketball this season.

And if you want to feel even better about yourself, ESPN allows you to compare your salary to some other beloved athletes such as former Raiders QB JaMarcus Russell, who doesn’t even have a job right now, was arrested for possession of freaking sizzurp (Triple Six Mafia would be proud), and still made that $80,000 in .19 games for the Silver and Black.

Aight, that’s enough whining. I’ve gotta run. I’ve got 229.38 years worth of dough to make up.

No worries. Just found an online gig that pays $15 per blog post. If my math’s correct, that’s only 1.22 million blog posts to reach LeBron’s 2010-11 salary (minus bonuses and endorsements of course)! One down, only 1,223,222.333 to go.

- Sent from my iPoor.

Boston might consider a new logo for Game 7.

If you’re an avid follower of the Bias, or have had the unfortunate luck of knowing me for an extended period of time, you’ve no doubt heard me rant and rave about everything from HGH to the horrendous officiating in the NBA.

But if there’s one thing I bang on more than LeBron James and Joe Crawford, it’s ESPN and the bandwagon media, and how quick they are to judge and dismiss teams after one game, one quarter, even one play at times.

But when it comes down to it, momentum, and what happened yesterday, and this “what-you’ve-done-for-me-lately” take on sports is garbage more often than not.

Momentum is weak-sauce media speak when it comes to championship series, because much of the media has never played the game, isn’t clever enough to come up with something of substance, and has grown numb to the one-game-at-a-time cliché pitched by the players and coaches. But when it comes to sport being played at a championship level, particularly a shooting-percentage game like basketball, momentum only matters within that one particular game – basketball is a game of runs as they say.

But when we’re talking about a seven-game series, that’s being played every two, three, even four days, on opposite sides of the country, between two of the most storied franchises in NBA history, you might as well throw momentum out the door.

Think about it. Has momentum ever carried over from that Monday blacktop game to your Wednesday pick-up battle, with the same crew of players on the court? Has momentum ever played a part the following week in that Monday night co-ed softball league of yours? Probably not. Either you’re good, or you’re not. Either you’re on that night, or you’re off. That’s it.

And when you’re talking about a game being played between what could be four or five hall of famers, momentum is even less important. If I were wrong, the Cleveland Cavs would be holding a parade right now. But they’re not.

It’s why no team had won back to back games in this series prior to the Celtics’ Game 5 victory in Boston.

So what does matter you ask?

What matters, for lack of a better analogy, are the four Hs: and I’m not talking that 4H, our A-town and Indiana hick readers.

• Hall of fame experience/leadership
• Heads-up plays
• Health
• Home-court advantage.

I’ve been preaching it from the beginning of the playoffs, and that’s why the Lakers should wrap up their second straight NBA title on Thursday.

And it’s also why they won big, and I mean really big, on Tuesday.

Consider:

Hall of fame leadership/experience: Kobe Bryant learned from Game 5′s me-against-the-world approach and got his teammates involved early on. By the end of the first quarter, the Lakers were balanced in the scoring column and had a double-digit lead. And the team that wins the first quarter has won all six games of the series (which shows just how unimportant momentum is considering that team was coming off a loss in five of the six games).: Bryant and Derek Fisher have been in the NBA for 14 seasons. They’ve each been to the NBA Finals seven times. That is leadership even the Celtics’ Big Three has trouble competing against.

Heads-up plays: These are the game-changing plays, Jordan Farmar diving for loose balls, going around and then over KG to put home two big buckets, Kobe giving up an open layup to a soaring Shannon Brown to get the crowd into it, encouraging Ron-Ron to keep shooting and get out of his funk.: The stats speak for themselves: The Lakers had 13 steals to only eight by Boston, had a 52-39 edge in rebounds, and an 8-4 edge in blocked shots. Ballgame.

Health: When Kendrick Perkins went down, I think the Boston Celtics season went down as well. While I’m contradicting myself a bit here by even hinting at what’s going to happen in Game 7, the injury to Boston’s blue-collar center puts a serious dent in the C’s frontcourt attack. While Perkins hasn’t done much at the offensive end, his absence at the defensive end allowed Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom to get free that much more on Tuesday night, and Gasol and Odom are the key to the series in my eyes. In Game 6, they combined for 25 points, 23 rebounds, 10 assists and 5 blocks, a pretty good all-around night considering how balanced the scoring was and that L.A. finished with only 89 points.

Home-court advantage: Unlike in 2008, the Lakers have home court in these playoffs. And unlike in 2008, the fans are actually giving L.A. an advantage. Since moving to Staples, I’ve argued time and time again that Los Angeles doesn’t have a home-court advantage other than the familiarity of playing there because their fan base could care less about the game itself. I’ve been to Staples: for a Clippers game. Beers are 2 for $20. At a Clippers game! Guys like you and me can’t afford to be there when the Lakers are in town. So you get fans like, I don’t know, look at Tuesday’s lineup: Christina Aguilera, Puffy, Andy Garcia, Spike Lee, Dane Cook, Diane Lane, Josh Brolin. In other words, not Lakers fans. You have Jack, and then you don’t have Jack.

But over the past three home games, I actually witnessed a standing ovation. And tonight, the crowd was as vocal a crowd as I’ve seen (heard, whatever) at Staples. And that happened before the Lakers started running away with it, so it wasn’t a fair-weather thing for once.: For all those times I’ve heard people say Pau Gasol was soft, I wanted to say L.A. is soft. Gasol was no softer than L.A.’s home crowds in years past. But now both of them are scrapping, showing emotion and producing in the clutch. In fact, Gasol has been the best frontcourt player in these playoffs. And L.A., next to Oklahoma City, has had the best home-court advantage. 10-1. Hard to argue with that.: Heck, I even saw L.A. fans sporting “Boston Sucks” shirts in L.A. this weekend, and they weren’t WCBias’ shirts. I also saw a one-year-old girl and a puppy wearing Kobe jerseys. It’s clear times have changed in L.A., and if Laker Fan has anything to say there won’t be any repeats of 2008. Not in their house.

We find out Thursday, when the Lakers shoot for 11-1, back-to-back titles, and a chance to save Ryantific from having to stomach the World Cup, not to mention a case of Budweiser Select 55, if the Celtics win.

Yo Joe, how 'bout a start once in a while? Mo Rivera is perfect again this season, with a 0.00 ERA in 10 games.

Props to Oakland’s Dallas Braden tonight for chucking a perfect game against the Tampa Bay Rays (in case you missed it, since it came on Mother’s Day and all: and nobody showed up in Oakland to watch it anyway (12,228 fans, really? That stadium was 2/3rds empty, for a perfect game?).

Note to A-Rod the A-Hole: Stay off Dallas’ mound yo. Check that, keep stomping on that mound, so the A’s can keep stomping the AL East.

I don’t want to stomp on notsellingjeans’ beat here, so I’ll keep this post on The Cutter, The Closer, and The City of Dreams.

Putting my West Coast Bias aside for a minute: great upcoming piece by EastSidePN’s E:60 this week on New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera.

While watching a preview tonight on SportsCenter, and smacking the floor with my jaw after seeing his stats – 0.00 ERA this season at the age of 40, 0.74 ERA in the playoffs, 13 runs in 133.3 postseason innings, 39 postseason saves, and recording the final out in four World Series! – I couldn’t help but ask myself the question:

No, not “is Mariano one of the greatest New York Yankees of all-time?” like ESPY asked.

Or is he the greatest reliever in MLB history?

Is Mo the best right-handed pitcher we’ve ever seen?

Not even close. Panama City’s finest was never given an opportunity to be that guy.

But what if he had been used by Joe Torre as a starting pitcher after learning how to throw that disgusting cut fastball in 1997, by accident, in a bullpen session with good ol’ Dodgers catcher Mike Borzello (yeah, so at least he’s been part of something in his MLB career, along with being Torre’s godson I guess)?

What if?

A few overlooked stats about this somehow overlooked/soon to be hall of famer (not sure if only the second player to record 500 saves can go overlooked, but still): Mo made his debut 15 years ago this month, May 23, 1995, to be exact, and went on to start 10 games that season.

Number of starts since? Zip, zilch, zero. Nada. Not a single start for the inventor of the nastiest pitch of our generation. A pitch everyone and their mom (it’s Mother’s Day, pardon the cliché) knows is coming at the end of every ballgame.

Oddly enough, this is a question that isn’t brought up by the mainstream media, not a shocker I guess, or in the blogosphere for that matter. Maybe it was asked a long time ago, before the Internets, but the best thing I could find nowadays was this take by a NYTimes blogger on changing the role of the starting pitcher and making The Closer be The Opener.

Interesting conversation.

I know I’d rather have Mo trot out to the mound for a start than Javier Vazquez, and his 1-3 record and 9.78 ERA in five starts, but that’s just me. Maybe it’s the Left Coast state of mind.

Speaking of the Westside, I’m also looking forward to Straight Outta L.A. on Tuesday, the story of the LA Raiders.

ESPN be getting it done like Dallas Braden this week. If only they could remain close to perfect like Mo after all these years.

Don’t believe me? ESPN just reported it. Lead story on SportsCenter tonight!

Apparently, you can make trades during the postseason now.

Additional breaking news, from EastSidePN: Durant was reportedly suspended for the previous game, too.

Does that mean the Oklahoma Thunder must forfeit that last victory over the Lakers?

Guess Los Angeles should roll through the rest of the series – unless Kobe is traded to the Bulls – now that the next best player in the NBA isn’t with the Thunder no more.

Figure it out ESPN.

If YouTube removes the video above, watch it here.

“Absolutely filthy.”

That’s how ESPN’s Baseball Tonight crew described Jonathan Sanchez’s no-hitter tonight.

And while we don’t write about the San Francisco Giants that often on The Bias, we had to give a tip of the hat to Sanchez, a kid who was 2-8 coming in to this start and wouldn’t even be on the bump if not for an injury to The Big Unit.

Yeah, only at The Bias can you have a Big Unit and Dirty Sanchez reference in the first 60 words of a post.

What, you prefer the lame headlines AP and Co. are going to come up with?

Giant Start by Sanchez

Giant No-No (yeah, Yahoo just posted that one)

Giant Feat (ESPN), followed up by a grand headline on its story page: Sanchez makes most of opportunity

Really, you’re hiring away the best sportswriters and newspaper columnists in the country, and you come up with Sanchez makes most of opportunity? Who’s writing this crap?

Not that ESPN and Yahoo are the only guilty parties for lame headlines. In fact, the Sports Network and Fox Sports win the ESPY for the lamest headline of the night, copying ESPN and Yahoo’s brutal heads. Sports Network ripped off Giant Feat. Fox ripped off Giant No-No. Not that we expect anything less from the boys over at Fox.

Clever, guys.

MLB.com’s headline? A Giant Among Men

SOMEBODY DON’T USE THE MASCOT IN THE HEADLINE! PLEASE! (Thank you, CBS Sportsline, for your San Francisco Treat, it was a nice change of pace!)

But at least the League’s site had something on the no-no.

Not sure if the Chronicle even publishes anymore, but their Web site isn’t doing so hot either apparently. AN HOUR after the game, the Chron homepage still had nothing on the No-No. (But the Chron had a link to last night’s gamer, writing about how Tim Lincecum was the Giant who would be making a run at John “The Count” Montefusco’s last no-hitter. How classic is that? Hearst Communications Inc. ain’t doin’ so well in the communications department these days.

Stupid newspapers. I guess breaking news stops at 8 p.m. Then again, Baseball America didn’t have anything either. Must have been vacationing in Canada, covering hockey or something. Nice work boys!

At least SI freaking tried: The Stuff of Legends, which is good because SI doesn’t have the balls to say Dirty Sanchez, but it gets at his stuff being legendary for one night. That’s the story. For one night, he wasn’t a washed up lefty who the Giants were shopping and getting ready to trade/demote. And now he’s going down in baseball lore, even if he doesn’t start another game.

Then again, SI blew the score in their photo caption, so what can I say?

Maybe I shoulda stuck around in sports journalism, it appears y’all need some freaking help.

So we’ll stick with Dirty Sanchez, because dude was straight up filthy tonight.

No hits, not walks, 11 strikeouts, first no-hitter since 1976 – meaning the Giants went my entire lifetime without a no-no until tonight.

And he did it with his old man in the stands, the first MLB game his father had attended. Seriously, does it get any more storybook than that?

Well it coulda. Sanchez was one booted ball away from a perfect game, which would’ve been the Major’s first since The Big Unit’s.

Then again, Sanchez was also saved by one of the better defensive plays of the day – Rowand’s sick catch in deep center to secure the second out of the ninth inning.

Once he made that catch, you knew that no-no was a reality. And you knew it was time to starting thinking about the best Giant … headline, or head on over to rip off ESPN.com and Sports.Yahoo if you weren’t even that clever.

Dirty. Dirty.

OK, so it's my favorite channel. But EastSidePN really pisses me off sometimes.

The Fourth of July might be gone, but the fireworks remain in the NBA.

Yeah, that’s such a lame AP-style lead. I would’ve gone with something like, “You can’t spell Fourth of July Weekend without W-T-F,” but that would upset the wifey when this blog post gets RSS’d into her Facebook page. Oops. Hopefully that didn’t make the first 140 characters.

But am I wrong? This offseason, particularly this past weekend, was a crazy one: with Mean Green ‘Sheed to the Celtics and bizArtest to the Lakers.

It seems like every other day I’m hearing the “experts” on EastSidePN rattle off take after take about who the “new team” to beat is. Not that we should bang exclusively on ESPN, cause it appears SI doesn’t even know what it’s doing these days – Economy promises to restrain offseason moves.

Well, if this is “restrained,” I hate to see what’s going to happen when/if this economy ever bounces back. In the meantime, here’s who ESPN has had as the favorites so far this offseason:

June 23: The Spurs are title contenders out West again! San Antonio deals for Richard Jefferson.

June 26: Cavs are Beasts in the East!! Shaq to LeBron Land, err Cleveland.

Later that afternoon: Hold that thought, Orlando is the Beast out East!!! Magic get Vince Carter.

July 1: Detroit back in the title hunt again!!!! UConn Huskies Gordon and Villanueva add bite to Pistons.

July 2: Lakers are in trouble if they can’t resign Ariza!!!!!

Later that afternoon: Artest to Lakers. Los Angeles favored to win next three titles!!!!!!

July 3: Forget Carter, he’s old and couldn’t defend BSlim, and Turkoglu is signing with Portland anyway!!!!!!!

July 4: Oh wait, did we say Turk to Portland!!!!!!!!? We meant Turk to Toronto. Ooops. Our bad. You expect us to check out sources?

July 5: All bets are off, Rasheed Wallace agrees to sign with Celtics!!!!!!!!! Boston, an East Coast team we should note, has to be the favorites again.

July 6: Wait a minute, Kidd just signed with the Mavs !!!!!!!!!! …

Give me a freaking break. The teams to beat haven’t changed. In fact, I’ll take the last three NBA champions (if healthy) in that particular order, as I always do.

1. Lakers
2. Celtics
3. Spurs

Until somebody knocks the Lakers off, they’re the favorites, followed by the veteran squads in Boston and San Antonio – especially if those teams avoid injuries. I’ll buy in to the Cavs when they actually make the Finals: and then win a game. They’re still 0-for in that department. Until then, save up for a LeBron Knicks jersey: or pray Shaq finds the fountain of youth somewhere in the Buckeye State.

P.S. On another note, you’ll be noticing some updates to WCBias in coming weeks, including lame stuff like polls, sharing functionality and all of that, so do us all a favor and use it: pass it on to your friends, if you have any. Spread the West Coast Love so Pembertonian isn’t wasting his time writing for another dying outlet. We’ve even got a freaking Facebook, Twitter and MySpace page if you can believe that crap.

The Hottest Ticket in Town

Oh, ESPN —could I please go to the ESPYs?  And only $500 for a VIP pass?  Shoot, I’ll take two.  Wait no, make that a dozen.  I’m sure these will be selling like freaking HOTCAKES on craig’s list by the end of the month.  Seeing as how I’ve been a valued Insider for the past five years and never received an e-vite before I’m forced to assume you’re having a harder time filling the ol’ Nokia Theater this time around and I’d be tempted to attend if it was, you know, free.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I have anything against host Sam Jackson and it’s not like I have anything better to do but I’ll have to respectfully pass on this one.  Catch you next year.

Latest breaking news from ESPN's Doris Burke: Shaq won't be playing in the Finals! Great work Doris.

Updating Saturday’s post, it appears Kobe Bryant “was as tired as he’s ever been” after Saturday’s game and needed an IV, reports ESPN sideline “reporter” Doris Burke … on MONDAY!

Thanks for the report Doris, 48 hours later. Whatever you do, don’t ask the dude when he’s doubled over, getting ready to puke in your lap during the postgame interview.

Nice work. What’s next? You going to tell us that the Lakers won Game 3 too?

I don’t know who’s more brutal, you or Mark Jackson. Problem being, these clowns are probably doing the Finals, too.

Say it with me people: How do you have a job Doris Burke?

Speaking of the Finals, I’m ready to puke in Burke’s lap now. Not exactly feeling so hot about that LeBron-Kobe matchup after tonight’s Laker loss … And I’m sure Vitamin Water has the same feelings.

Ugh. What if it was Orlando vs. Denver, covered by Jackson and Burke. Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuutal.

Pissed that you don’t have a good job and want to bag on sports stars who do, check out the archives of WCBias.com’s “How do you have a job?” blogs. Bastards.

Watch out Cali., Dana Jacobson and EastSidePNers are gettin' gangsta.

So I guess it’s official. ESPN’s SportsCenter has moved to the West Coast.

The move, which I haven’t been looking forward to since we started this blog, was made official with ESPN’s first West Coast edition on Monday night — you know, when that UNC team I picked to win it all did just that in Michigan State’s house.

ESPN’s move begs all sorts of questions: What happened to the East Coast Bias? What happened to EastSidePN? What the heck am I going to write about now? Are we here at The Bias going to rename the site? Are we going to rethink our business strategy?

Well, we all know we won’t be rethinking our business strategy. Never had one in the first place, which has become pretty obvious at this point. And I rarely write any more, so what’s one less news organization to bang on going to do? I still have the idiots that run McClatchy Newspapers, so at least I’ve got that going for me.

Anywho, in honor of the EastSidePNers coming to the wild Westside, I offer up the: drum roll please Patrick:

Top 10 reasons why ESPN’s SportsCenter moved to the Westsiiiiiide!

10. Because anyone who’s anyone knows you “You Live and Die in L.A.” And in the words of the late great Tupac Shakur: “The Westside is the best side.”

9. Laker Girls.

John Clayton or South Park's Mr. Mackey?

8. You can’t tell me John Clayton‘s beautiful grill doesn’t ooze that Hollywood vibe. Maybe dude’s good looks can help get a pro football team in L.A.

7. Thanks to the economy, beers at Staples Center are down to $15 bucks a pop. That’s good news for the ESPN staffers, but more on that later.

6. Andy Katz, Jay Bilas and Buster Olney think they can play for the Clippers. I’m pretty sure they could start.

Scott, down wit the cripz and bloodz.

5. Hey, if Beckham’s busted ass can be big in SoCal, ESPN should take over the world from its L.A. studio.

4. Stuart Scott has a red eye and a blue eye, so he’s safe no matter what gang turf he rolls through down there.

3. Did we mention the Laker Girls? Speaking of which, might as well put Erin Andrews courtside for those Laker games while you’re at it.  (On a side note, this might be the first time in the history of the blogosphere that someone wrote about Andrews and did not insert her photo. Again, our business model and editor suck. Badly.)

Sex, drugs and Dennis Rodman. I love L.A.

2. L.A.’s got Slater, Snoop and Scully: Connecticut has: umm: a: good: college women’s basketball program, if you’re in to that kind of thing.

1. Where else would you want ESPN AAnchors Dana Jacobson, Michael Irvin and Chris “Boomer” Berman working? For some reason, I see a lot of “exclusive” sitdowns with Dennis Rodman in ESPN’s West Coast future.

Cheers to our new homies from ESPN. Welcome to the best side.