But imagine Derrick Rose WITH Kobe Bryant

Well, I’m a bit surprised.

If you remember, a little while ago, I commented on how lucky Laker fans were that Kobe Bryant wasn’t traded to the Bulls. And I noted how the Lakers, had that scenario taken place, would have gotten stuck wound up with Luol Deng, who has not exactly lived up to expectations.

Well, that stuff is still very true. In fact, Deng has been out for the season for a while now, and even when he played, he was disappointing (14 ppg).

But the surprising thing is how well the Bulls are doing against the reigning champ Celtics. Now granted, the ‘Tics are without KG, and that’s a big deal. Huge even. Still, these are the Bulls that I said were so mediocre.

Because they were.

But then John Paxson actually orchestrated a terrific trade that has breathed new life into Chicago. (I know, I know — this is West Coast Bias. But come on — I mentioned Kobe! Chill.)  Yes, the same John Paxson I said wouldn’t be around long.

With the playoffs looking like a long shot, he traded Andres Nocioni — a popular player — and Drew Gooden (maybe not as popular) for Brad Miller and John Salmons. And, call it chemistry or whatever, but suddenly guys like Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah started looking real good. Add good games from Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich – not to mention improving play from Rookie of the Year/future all-star Derrick Rose – and you’ve got a serious contender. A team that won 12 of its last 13 home games.

And, yes, now I’m eating crow about the Paxman.

Sure, the Bulls won’t go past the first round. But winning a single game against Boston would have been a victoty. And here these Baby Bulls have won two games and almost won a couple more.

Of course, had they traded for Kobe . . .

There’s actually a team named Stephen F. Austin in the coveted NCAA TOURNAMENT?

I know I’ve already groused about crappy teams making the Dance. But Stephen F. Austin?

First of all, I don’t even know who the hell Stephen F. Austin is, though my guess is he was probably a shitty basketball player.  I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess he founded the city of Pacoima.

Or wait – is he the dude who created “Austin City Limits?”

Pretty good show there, actually.

Or no — isn’t he that Bionic Man dude? You know, the guy who died but then was rebuilt as a robot, which is why he always had wires sticking out his arm every time he got a scratch? (BTW, If the Bionic Man has a wet dream, does he suffer a short circuit?)

Seriously, though. Does anyone in this universe think Steve Austin deserves to be in the tournament more than Florida, Kentucky or West Coast’s very own San Diego State?

Okay, well — they did beat Howard Payne, I’ll give them that. But as impressive as that was, they couldn’t keep up with Louisiana-Monroe or Texas-Arlington.  On the other hand, I hear those teams are WAY better than Syracuse. So kick ass, Stew Austin! You’re riding high on my brackets.

Meanwhile, I’ll also be putting big bucks on Robert Morris, that school named after . . . some guy named Robert Morris?

Okay, I have to admit, the socialist part of me hates any school named after a person. Because you know that — even though only 30 people in the entire world have heard of these schools — they still charge roughly $80,000 a year in tuition. (And that doesn’t include the activities fee.)  And alumni from schools like Stanley Austin probably only give jobs to other Sterling Austin graduates.

They obviously aren’t a very creative school. Check out that lame-ass logo.

And here Ryantific is still out of work.

Remember this most promising prospect?

For sports fans, bad memories often last only as long as slumps.

Or trade talks.

Or steroid scandals.

But Pembertonian — he’s got a memory like an elephant. And lately he’s been thinking – remembering — how Kobe Bryant was booed by Lakers fans just over a year ago.

Now it may be hard for L.A. to remember that now — you know, in the midst of loving Kobe Bryant.  Recent woes aside, it has been a pretty good year — 18 games up and all.

But Jack Nicholson (not to mention Ryantific) probably wouldn’t be so happy today had Kobe become a Bull.

Remember those talks? Wasn’t long ago. But the chief trade bait for the Bulls was Luol Deng.  And at the time Deng seemed like pretty sweet bait indeed: Deng, who had averaged 18 points the prior season, was considered among the future elite. As ESPN.com wrote back then:  “Deng is widely regarded as one of the league’s best up-and-coming players, a young man from Sudan by way of England and Duke University. His impeccable character is matched only by the touch on his mid-range jumper, his most effective offensive weapon.”

Well . . .

The once promising Deng — just like the once promising Bulls — has taken a turn for the worse.  Deng’s ppg has dipped to 14 points per game, and his stock has plummeted faster than Bear Stearns. 

Those Lakers fans who once booed Bryant? Well, I don’t hear them so much. And those Bulls fans who said, “Kobe Bryant’s a trouble maker — we don’t need him” would probably love to put up with him now given their team is at best a first-round elimination. (Any bets on how long John Paxson remains the GM?)

Not only do the Lakers owe Kobe for a stellar season, they also owe him for not getting stuck with Deng. It was Bryant, after all, who insisted on playing with Deng had a deal been made with Chicago.

Ironically, another failed Deng trade also worked out well for L.A.

Anyone remember talks of a Deng-for-Gasol deal?