West Coast Bias

The story I’m about to tell you is factual and without embellishment. You should also know I’m not proud of it either. If you have ever read this blog even once, you know BG talks a lot about Clayton Kershaw (and rightfully so, because he looks like he is going to be dirty).

Yes it’s true, he is pitching today but more importantly he became available in Yahoo Fantasy Baseball leagues worldwide. You see, for the past 2 weeks upon hearing speculation that Kershaw was close to being called up from Double-A ball, I would routinely go to my league’s waiver wire to see if he had been added to the game. Every time I typed in K-E-R (you only have to type in the players first 3 letters of their last name to find them) I would get a bunch of guys that I had never heard of and KERry Wood (certainly don’t want that headache).

However, yesterday it was rumored that not only would he be called up but he would be starting the final game of the series against the St. Louis Cardinals on Sunday, May 25. This start would all but force those bastards at Yahoo to add him into the game. I’m not sure if it is a computer program that adds guys to the game as they are officially called up by their Major League team or if it is just some guy that loves to play with my emotions and adds players to the game whenever he sees fit, therefore causing all of us great pain and stress. So yesterday, I literally type K-E-R into my player pool 8 times before I finally realize that either the computer program or that guy at Yahoo responsible for adding players is not going to do it on May 24.

So rather then go to bed at 11:30 pm when I wanted to, I stayed up till 12:01 am to see if Mr. Kershaw would be my next waiver wire gem. However, he was not available at that time either. I waited until about 12:45 am but still no luck. I decided that I would just leave the computer on all night and check it whenever I happened to wake up or need a little sip of water.

What ensued next was not ideal or nothing that I’m particularly proud of. I tossed and turned all night thinking about a 20-year-old man who plays baseball and will never ever even know my name. Then the unthinkable happened, I started dreaming about him. No joke, in my dream I was in my room back in L.A. when I was 8 years old, but this time I was racing some invisible mystery to see who could pick up Clayton Kershaw first. I’M SERIOUS, this dream actually happened. However, this dream turned into a nightmare because not only did the mystery man add Kershaw, but I also flipped out and started throwing all my belongings through my window into a dark abyss. Strangely, my entire family was there to watch and no one seemed to try and stop my; it was as if they knew what is was like to lose a guy like Clayton … Then I woke up at 4:54 am.

I thought about my dream for a second and the realized I had completely become a lunatic, addicted to fantasy people. What did I do next? You got it, I grabbed my computer, typed in K-E-R and guess who I found? I actually got nervous and accidentally clicked on a Chevy ad that took me to their website. I regrouped and got back to the waiver wire. I added Kershaw and just then my girlfriend woke up and said:

“Greg, what are you doing?”

I said, “Don’t worry about, you wouldn’t understand even if I tried to explain it.”

She said, “Does it have something to do with fantasy sports?” I didn’t respond.

She said, “I hate you.”

I said, “So do I.”