While Slim’s away on his “I can’t quit you” camping trip, I’ve decided he needs a new nickname. After all, I’m pretty sure he came up with his own BSlim moniker, and that pretty much breaks the cardinal rule of nicknames — that someone else has to come up with them.
So I’ve been thinking: Since The Artist Formely Known as Slim shares the same last name as the guy who wrote Winnie the Pooh, well . . . it just seems like there ought to be a Pooh name. So, of course, there’s the obvious: Pooh. Then there’s Heffalump — or just Heff. I sort of like that. De-Slimmed is not exactly a half-full kinda guy, so maybe Eeyore works.
He probably wouldn’t dig Piglet. And Tigger sounds too . . . I quit you.
Hmmm. Let’s think about this. Meanwhile, I wanted to throw in my two cents on not-Slim’s last blog post, where he laments on how sucky the year has been for SoCal baseball. To which I would add: Hey, Slim, what part of the country do you think San Diego is in? Not only are the Padres having a stellar year — and, for the life of me, I don’t know how — but they’ve been the best and most consistent team in the NL pretty much all season.
Being a Californian for over a decade now, I would like to support the Pads in their quest to make all pre-season predictions woefully wrong. But there’s this lingering problem: Those effing camo uniforms.
I mean, seriously, what sort of lame pandering is that? Why not just go ahead and have Lee Greenwood sing “Proud to Be an American” before every game, just before having the Republican-of-the-day toss out the first pitch. All to be covered by Fox News.
Seriously, what a load of crap. Just because there’s a gazillion military dudes in San Diego, that doesn’t mean they need to dedicate uniforms to them. Did the pirates ever don steel worker hats to show their support of Pittsburgh’s main industry? Do the Tigers wear GM and Ford patches?
Yeah, yeah, you Limbaugh parrots will say, “But the military guys are heroes.” To which I would say real heroes save lives, not end them.
How about if the Padres wear doctor uniforms? Or firefighter digs. Hell, remember when A-Rod saved that kid from an oncoming vehicle? Maybe the Padres should wear Yankee uniforms.
“Hey, you Commie, Taliban-loving socialist, Obamacare lover,” the Tea Baggers will spit, “the men and women of the military are protecting our freedom.”  But, I would say, the real people protecting our freedoms are the attorneys who have defended them in civil rights cases. Or how about Supreme Court justices like Thurgood Marshall?
I’d say he was a hero. Though, for some reason, tea bagger types hate him. Becuase, you know, that whole separate but equal was going pretty well.
Hey, how about this, Padres: How about you have uniforms that look like Supreme Court robes? Or, shoot, if we’re gonna get political — which camo uniforms do — how about being fair and going with peace signs? Because me personally? If I’m taking my child to a baseball game that I have to pay an arm and a leg for, I like the idea of promoting peace not war.
So maybe Pooh’s right — maybe San Diego shouldn’t count as California. Because, remember, Pads peeps, this is the Left Coast.
Just because I quit three varsity sports my senior year in HS, quit baseball a year later in JC, have quit two cake jobs in as many years, and quit surfing for 5 of the past 6 weeks, doesn’t mean I’m a quitter.
OK, whatever, I’m a quitter.
But I’d never quit the Bias, which was down all weekend since you posted this Padres mess (coincidence?)! All 547 of our posts disappeared!
But after putting in work, BSlim the quitter has restored the databse and has asite back up an running.
I ain’t no Dodger, so quit that quit talk!