Oh.
My.
GAWD.
I just saw this commercial with Jimmy Johnson hawking Extenze, proudly boasting that he uses penis enlargement pills. Granted, it’s getting late, and I’m not thinking clearly. But this, of course, brings about some issues I HAD to write about at 12:50 a.m.:
1.) Johnson must be really hard up (get it? penis joke) for money.
2.) I heard he’s already gotten a dozen calls from Madonna.
3.) If Johnson overdoses on Extenze, will he need an extra pant leg?
4.) What if something went horribly wrong with the Extenze and he wound up with gargantuan balls?
5.) Are we to assume that Jimmy Johnson actually needs a penis at this point?
6.) Apparently, former Major Leaguer Pete LaCock was not available.
7.) If Extenze really works, I think Johnson should start wearing the same tights those ballet guys wear to put his money where his mouth is.
8.) Did he take it personally whenever he heard “4th and an inch?”
9.) If I write “penis” enough in this post, will it increase WCBias traffic?
10.) Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis
