Don’t you think the first day of the baseball season should be a national holiday? Judging by the amount of text messages, phone calls and emails I received yesterday regarding the exploits of Yunel Escobar, Jason Heyward and Garret Jones I’m guessing productivity was already at an all-time low for those in internet land so why not just make it official? Actually, maybe just keep it the way it is-if I’m doing nothing as it is I might as well get paid for it.
The day started off with a classic BG-G Snide mano-y-mano matchup of my Johan Santana vs. his Josh Johnson (Yahweh bless you, Johan) and didn’t really let up for the rest of the day. A quick check of my AT&T bill shows a total of 43 texts, 49 emails and about 90 minutes of talk time devoted to Carlos Zambrano’s disastrous inning, Ryan Howard’s second decker and Mark Buehrle’s ridiculous play. That’s a lot of downtime, friends. My apologies to my parents who I’m sure would tell you they raised me better and to the American economy as a whole. And Barack…really? Come on man.
You know who I really can’t get excited about? The Dodgers. Look, I don’t want to make any sweeping generalizations about the team after just one ugly game but what am I supposed to get stoked about here? It’s been great watching Russ Mart, Ethier, Kemp, and Loney come up through the ranks but where’s the backing from Management? I’m supposed to be excited about the Ortiz brothers taking the hill? The Casey Blake extension (at the expense of Carlos Santana, no less) is going to do it for me? Don’t expect a lot of posts about the Dodgers until I feel like they’re post-worthy. We might be the West Coast biased but we’re not homers.
A special shout out to G Snide who treats every important Duke game like he has front row tickets to the apocalypse and retreats into a fortress of solitude (7025, represent) to yell at the TV like a normal human being. Good work, Sir. Even if you’re like most of the rest of America and hate Duke with a passion usually reserved for terrorists it’s still nice to see Greg have his fun after suffering through the Casey Sanders/Greg Paulus era(s). Lastly I’m going to keep using the “JC is a bastard” tag because I want those words to look bigger on the right side of the screen. Love that.