Grab your popcorn: Things we learned this week

Nuggets forward Kenyon Martin doesn't like popcorn, or projectionists. Watch your back RK.

Things we learned this week in the sporting world:

• Don’t mess with Method Man, I mean K-Mart on April Fools’, Fool. Filling up a man’s whip with buttered popcorn ain’t no joke. Just ask Ryantific, formerly an All-American projectionist at Century Cinemas, making $4.25 an hour before the Bias came calling and saved him from the projector booth.
• Speaking of Ryantific, being in your early 30s isn’t as bad as him and I make it look. Consider: Kobe Bryant, 31, just signed a 3-year, $90 million contract. Brad Stevens, 33, has Butler in Final Four. BSlim, 32, umm: yeah, next topic.
• The NCAA is seriously considering expanding the NCAA Tournament to 96 teams. Seriously? In fact, it’s ‘probable,’ according to the Big 10 commish Why? So 1of 3 teams goes to the dance? So the Big Worst Conference can get three teams in? They don’t even deserve 1 half the time.
• Donovan McNabb might not be my only man getting dealt from Philly. Our boy Chris Gocong just got shipped to Cleveland. Hopefully he hasn’t been hangin’ in Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.
• Back on the NCAA Tourney tip, Kentucky’s loss to West Virginia ensured not a single person in one of my pools picked a team in Monday’s Final. Ouch.
• Cal Poly won the NCAA men’s basketball tournament! Wrong horse.
• I miss Larry vs. Magic. If you didn’t catch it, be sure to pimp HBO’s Magic & Bird: A Courtship of Rivals. A great doc that goes all the way back to their high school days. High shorts and pasty white thighs never hurt anyone.
• ESPN’s college hoops “experts” and I aren’t the only one who don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to college ball. Of 4.78 million brackets fans on ESPN.com, only 200 successfully picked the Final Four.