You Stay Classy, Alex Rios
Eeeesshh. Alex Rios, your fantasy bum outfielder caught on camera dropping a few F-bombs on his fans. At a charity event. After he went 0-5. With 5 Ks. On your fantasy roster. Oh but don’t worry because, you know, he apologized for his behavior, so it’s all cool now. Alex, buddy, you’ve been killing me all year. Your OBP is a paltry .325, which is roughly 325 points higher than your people skills. Look man, we get it, it’s hard being a professional baseball player…I mean you have to show up for work 162 days a season! That’s like, almost half of a year man, that’s hard! And don’t get me started on all of those overpaid teachers out there, getting paid just to sit in a posh classroom (air conditioned!) for hours each day reading, while you’re out slaving away on the ball field? Enough to make a guy puke, isn’t it? So yeah, F-the haters, Alex. You’ve earned the right to hassle those kids who ask for your autograph while you walk to your car. Hey, why is walking to your car so freaking vital but walking to first is such a chore? And would it kill you to steal a base more often? Because, you know…my team needs more steals.
