During my visit to the Midwest last week, I was horrified to learn that not only does my brother spend inordinate amounts of time playing online poker, but get this: He actually watches poker on TV!
It was especially frustrating when he would surf the channels, pass up a perfectly good baseball game, then stop on poker. And I’m sitting there, thinking, what the hell???
Here’s the thing: Poker is not a sport. See the guys in this photo? Do they look like world class athletes to you? Sure, you might bet on them in a hotdog eating contest. But chances are they can’t throw a baseball 50 mph. Yet, you can watch poker on ESPN, which I think stands for something having to do with sports.
I mean, I understand that maybe they can’t afford to show a baseball game every night. But I’d rather watch a baseball game from 1962 than poker. Hell, I’d rather watch curling than poker. The luge.
Seriously, if you’re gonna show poker, why not Go Fish, Crazy Eights and War. They’re card games, right? Heck, I’d rather see magic tricks with cards. Or a competition where dudes build houses of cards while someone else throws beer bottles at them.
Poker is not a sport, ESPN. Lose it. And to my brother: I love ya, bro, but please — take up the guitar.