Why are today's baseball uniforms so lame?

These Padres uniforms were stylin!

Sometimes I can be such a girl.

Because when I’m watching  a baseball team with two teams I don’t especially care about, uniforms become a factor. Consequently, I’ll never root for the lame-ass Rangers, with their boring white and unimaginative “T” baseball caps. 

As a rule, I have to say, uniforms today kinda suck. No, not actually – they really suck. For one thing, they all sort of look alike. (How many times have you mistaken the White Sox for the Yankees?) It’s sort of like those uniforms they had in your Little League.

And I don’t know what’s going on with helmets. What’s with the little aerodynamic grooves? They look like BMX headgear, and BMX sucks.

Honestly, I thought teams had more fashion sense – and courage – back in the 70s. Remember those White Sox uniforms with the collars? They even, for a brief time, wore shorts. Granted, it looked like a uniform for a soccer team, but at least it was original.

Then there was the Padres. Remember Ozzy Smith in those fun brown and yellow digs? Sweet. And let’s not forget these doozies from the Astros. If there was ever an all-gay team, I’m pretty sure that rainbow design would be popular.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

My point is: Today’s uniforms are lame. Yeah, the Yankees still have their classic pinstrips, and the Cubs have their colors. But let’s face it — California could do better.

The Dodgers are okay, but the Angel uniforms are about as boring as their stadium. The A’s have good hats, but that’s about it. The Giants and Padres are just blah.

I’m not saying we should have Tommy Hilfiger design uniforms, but well . . . actually, maybe that’s not such a bad idea. Instead of spikes, the players could wear canvas boat shoes.