How can I throw a 100 mph fastball like that San Diego State guy?

Remember that crappy carnival game where you had to guess how fast you could throw a baseball?

Back in the day, Nolan Ryan was one of few pitchers to hit the century mark.

     I remember getting all excited about it. Not because I wanted to win a plastic helmet. But, rather, because I was thinking, you know — I’m going to really impress people with my cannon arm. Even though I was just a teen, I figured I could throw a good 80 mph. Maybe somewhere in the mid-80s. But then when I threw my first one, the radar gun — that lying piece of crap — said I’d thrown 73 mph.

So, with my arm throbbing, I decided, well, maybe I just needed to throw HARDER. So the next ball I winged with even greater might, sending shock waves of pain through the tendons in my arm.

The tally: 71 mph

By my third toss, I was resigned. There really wasn’t any chance in hell I was going to throw 10 mph harder. In fact, the most likely scenario was that I would really screw up my arm, so I half-assed it for a 68 mph throw.

Didn’t even win a helmet.

That’s when I decided you can’t trust carnival radar guns. Because they lie.

Anyway, the experience does show how impressive it is for a guy like San Diego State pitcher Stephen Strasburg to get clocked in the 100 mph range. (He’s actually been clocked at 103.) Impressive enough that he could wind up with a $50 million contract, the jerk.

Which got me thinking: Remember when a 90 mph fastball was fast? Not so anymore. In fact, a pitcher doesn’t really get impressive until he reaches, say, the 97 mph mark.

Back in the day, it was rare to find a Nolan Ryan, who I recall once reached 105 mph. But as you’ll see from this web site, in recent years, more hurlers have achieved Ryan-like numbers.

Remember that all-star game where John Kruk almost pissed himself when Randy Johnson’s fastball whizzed past his head? Yeah. Welcome to the 100 mph club, buddy.

But the club now includes Billy Wagner, Bobby Jenks, Matt Lindstrom and a bunch of guys I’ve never even heard of.

Now, I don’t to bring up the whole steroid thing over and over and over again, but let’s just note that Roger Clemens is on this list. But, hey, at least it evens things out: If pitchers are on ‘roids, then batters on ‘roids don’t necessarilly have an advantage, right? It’s ‘roid on ‘roid action and, hence, entirely fair.

So come on — let’s let Bonds and McGwire in the Hall. They had to take ‘roids to keep up with Clemens.