The Mexicutioner, John B and myself left Phoenix yesterday and endured the 7 million mile drive back to civilization and immediately jumped into our 2009 Fantasy Baseball draft, a 5 hour affair held via the magic of the interweb. I’ll get to everything else on a later post but here’s what happened during our final day in the horrifying squalor beauty of Goodyear, Arizona. First of all, getting from Phoenix to Goodyear may seem like a trivial matter but good God it is a long way out there and but eventually we stumbled upon the home of the Indians and Reds after mistaking not one but two high schools for the ballpark. After enduring the most Mickey Mouse parking situation of all time (at least in Surprise they didn’t charge us $5) which the Mexicutioner described as “The U-Turn of Death” we arrived in the 2nd inning, our have-yet-to-arrive-for-The-National-Anthem streak securely intact at a whopping 4 games. Whatever, first innings are lame anyway.
The game was nice and featured a good comeback win by your Los Angeles Dodgers, sparked by a massive home run to left by Russ Mart. I still don’t see him as a middle of the order bat and would feel much better if they permanently penciled him into the 2 or 7 slot but it might have been the hardest hit ball we saw all weekend. Also of note was 9th inning man Charlie Haeger, a knuckleballer who is fun (if not terribly effective) to watch. Sadly getting out of the stadium was again an exercise in futility which ended with a not-so-fun confrontation with Arizona’s finest. The rest of the day was spent with Bud Lights, Outback Steakhouse and the last round of NCAA games. Do Saturdays get any better? I say no.
Sunday involved the aforementioned drive of death which included a stop in the lovely city of Quartzsite, Arizona which makes Blythe, CA look like Paris, France. Never have I been so terrified in a small town as I was in Quartzsite. Have you ever seen a Burger King with a “Please do not bring weapons into this establishment” sign on the front door? Neither have I. On the plus side, if you are in the market for a Confederate Flag, I have just the store for you. You stay classy, Quartzsite. Look for some photoshopped ballpark pics and fantasy sports talk coming your way tomorrow…I’m back in the office so lord knows I have nothing to do. Big ups to John B and el Eme–J and G Slim, we’ll get it going next year mis amigos.