Hi God, it’s me, Brian.
I know we haven’t been talking much lately but I was wondering if you could help me out with something. You see, I really, really, really would like to see this happen. I know you’re not really a bargaining kind of guy because you’re all-powerful and there’s nothing that I can do that you couldn’t already do yourself but could you please just grant me this one wish? And yes, I do realize that I am praying to you like you are a genie and not capital-G, God but still, help a brother out. Unless you are a Mets fan, of course. Judging by the way they finished the last two seasons I can’t imagine that you are though. And speaking of, is AJ really a project the Mets want to undertake at this point? New ballpark, heated rivalry with the Phillies…whatever, sorry God, I’m getting off topic. Just do me this solid, yeah? The way I see it, you owe me for making me shiver through the weather this Winter. Frigid. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Anyway, I’ll get back to letting you do your thing.
Your pal,
BG
Only the G-man himself would be able to make this trade happen, because who in the Lord’s name would want freaking AJ on their squad after the debacle that was the 2008 season for him.
He is a duckrammer.