I was bored of West Coast sports Friday night and did the unthinkable, tuned in MLB.com to hear how GSlim’s idol Jay Bruce was doing against the ol’ Yankees in interleague play.
Bad idea.
Well, good idea if you’re struggling for stuff to write about and need another idea for “How do you have a job?“
WCBS, the New York Yankees Radio Network, is just plain brutal.
More Homer than Simpson.
I mean every time the Yankees made a routine play, it was “amazing” or “terrific.” Lazy fly balls hit by the Bronx Bombers were “going, going: caught short of the warning track.”
But they did come up with great insight like “I’m not sure the last time WE played the Reds,” as if they’re wearing pinstripes themselves.
Calling players by their first names, as if they’re best friends, which leaves non-regular listeners wondering who the hell they’re talking about half the time.
Sorry I don’t know who your BFF Chad (third-string catcher Moeller) is.
And we haven’t even got to the crying.
Yes, Suzyn Waldman actually began sobbing last year after the Yankees were knocked out of the playoffs and it became evident Joe Torre’s time in the Bronx might be coming to an end.
Dude, there’s no crying in baseball.
Thank god, Waldman didn’t join Torre when he made his move out West.
Not that Waldman’s partner in crime, John Sterling, is any better.
During one of his homer plugs for the local car dealership, Sterling came up with this great sell:
“Are you looking for a new car?: well, I wish I didn’t throw that card away.: Well, you could find used cars on the Internet.”
Thanks for the tip there Einstein. Oh wait, you guys know him as Albert.
Brutal.
Say it with me y’all: “How do you have a job Bozo Yankees homers?”
Now you know why they call it WC-BS.
